true things in this episode
- an american tiktoker really did microwave cold beans on untoasted bread with american cheese, and later a beach fish. gordon ramsay's review was one word: puke.
- there are more greggs than mcdonald's in the uk.
- greggs answered piers morgan's vegan sausage roll rant with "oh hello piers, we've been expecting you".
- john gregg started out delivering eggs and bread by bicycle in newcastle.
- stormzy holds a greggs black card: free greggs for life.
transcript
wagwan mandem. in london, breakfast is a test.
the little devil works here too. she works everywhere.
she orders an iced coffee. peak. the devil hears: i have never suffered.
you're american, innit. i can smell the smiling.
oh my gosh, how did you know?
she brings the full english: eggs, sausages, bacon, a tomato that has seen tings, and beans.
black pudding. she asks what it is, and the devil says: allow it.
the beans touch everything, they're meant to. in america that's a crime, in london it's tuesday.
what the heck is this.
BREAKFAST, BRUV.
AN AMERICAN ONCE PUT COLD BEANS ON RAW BREAD, PLASTIC CHEESE, MICROWAVE. WASTEMAN.
SHE ALSO MICROWAVED A FISH FROM A BEACH, AND GORDON RAMSAY SAID PUKE.
SHE ATE THE BEANS AND SAW NEWCASTLE, A MAN ON A BICYCLE, DELIVERING EGGS.
GREGGS. THERE ARE MORE OF THEM THAN MCDONALD'S. THIS IS TRUE.
the vegan one has one thousand layers. piers morgan wept.
the devil works here too, still. black card, like stormzy.
oh hello. we've been expecting you.
it's peng, swear down, bare peng. she's gassed, she's not leaving.
she has a loyalty card now, certi. she's not going home. bless.
independent fan fiction. not affiliated with or endorsed by any business shown.
